Good Shepherd Nuns
ATTIC.
Five girls did things to me that were so degrading.
I didn't know these girls, they were much older than me.
This happened a lot to me.
From the classroom to the toilets, is a stairway, which leads up to the attic.
The older girls are always up there and it is a place I ran past, if! am alone.
This day I am by myself and have to past there.
the girls have seen me.
I have got to get away from them,
but there are too many of them for me.
They drag me by my hair and take me up to the attic, it is a big room with seats around it.
The girls get a hold of my hair
and start to swing me around by it.
I wished that my hair would fallout,
then they can't swing me around anymore.
They make me do things, which I cannot stand
and they are not right and they are rude to me.
They spit in my face and put my face into water,
which they have on the floor. This water is their urine.
They punch and kick me, pull me around by my hair again. The girls tell me that they will do this again if I tell on them.
I have to get away from this. I need help.
Who can I go to?
I'll go to see Jesus and Mary in church, they will listen to me. "Mary can you see what they are doing to me?"
The sexual abuse by the three women
and five girls has made my life a misery to the extent
that I have never trusted women.
I think this also is why I push my children away ftom me.
This also I thought was a form of punishment,
because the three women locked me in the
broom cupboard afterwards. I don't like the dark,
or my bedroom door shut at night.
I was given Epsom-salt on my porridge once a week.
BOW and MARJORIE PEYTON.
Bow and Marjorie Peyton (who were sisters) and Cochi O'Neillooked
after us from little babies to the age of five years.
They looked after me and the fear that I had for them,
was me being a little lamb, while they were the violent tiger.
They would come and sit on the edge of my bed just before the lights went out,
then they would start scratching their feet on the wire of my bed.
I would lay as still as I could and pretended to be asleep,
because I knew what they were going to do to me later that night.
I couldn't move or go anywhere, from this.
God this is hard! I hate telling you about this, it is as though I can see them.
I can't stand the way it still makes me feel after all these years.
They did these horrible sexual things to me
and then they would force me with violence to do things to them.
I have never told anyone about this, because I feel so dirty
and it makes me shudder and tremble, cry and so angry when ever I think of them.
1999, was the first time I told anyone about this.
To think that adults who were put in charge of little children
took advantage of the opportunity and abused me.
Sexual, Mentally, Verbally, Emotionally, Molested,
Raped and Humiliated us. Is beyond me.
The sexual abuse started when I was in the nursery, in their care.
Which was for little babies up to the age of five years.
Then I was sexual abuse continuously from the age of five to ten years,
until I went to Nazareth House. It also happened there too.
3 older ladies and 5 girls sexual abused me at S1' Joseph's, from a baby to ten years.
How could they do this to me?
They violated me in all ways and ruined my life.
Now that you also know I won't be able to look you in the face,
because of the shame I feel. Please do not ask me to tell you
in what way they did these things to me, because I can not tell you.
They hurt me too much to even think of them now.
I will not put my children through what I went through.
My shame stays with me. Not my children.
Why did they do this to me? My life is gone.
SEXUAL ABUSE.
This is highly confidential and I entrust this in the security of your care.
Marjorie and Bow Peyton and Cochi O'Neil would come to my bed,
strip me then one of them would sit on my face,
while the other one would push my legs apart and touch my vagina.
They would put things up me, then they would make me lick them.
This was very painful. I hated it and I knew that it was dirty.
I was so scared, because they would locked me in the broom cupboard afterwards.
I did not know that this was sexual abuse nor did I know anything about sex
until I was twenty-four years old, when I married my husband Brian.
I could not make
any noise or they would sit on me harder. I did not know that this was wrong,
because the three older ladies who were looking after us,
were doing this to me.
In the attic the five girls, after they made me drink their urine,
would get in a line and then take their pants off, push me on to my knees,
while pulling me around by my hair and get me to lick their vaginas.
I could not get away from this.
At school when I wanted to go to the toilet I would wait for
as long as I could and in the end I had to go or I would wet myself.
I would be slapped across my face.
I knew that the older girls would be waiting for me, outside.
When I went back to school I would be crying and so upset,
the nuns would ask me why I was so long and I could not tell her,
because the big girls had told me that they would get me again.
They were always somewhere waiting for us,
it happened to some of the other girls as well.
I felt trapped, no matter what way I tried to get away from this.
Because if I stayed in the classroom
I would get slapped across my face for wetting my pants
and the girls would be waiting for me outside as well.
I could not see any way out of it. I could go to no one for help.
It was as if I was not actually there, as though I was numb. = [ Blank] in mind,
but not in body. I could feel everything that they did to me and my body.
The fear, that I had for the nuns
and the older girls was the worse thing that I had to endure.
I am still afraid of people and I cope better with children than adults.
bravenet.com
